I Love Alone Time & Alone Time Loves Me

A lot of unfortunate things have happened during quarantine and because of quarantine. But for me, one of the things I’ve been enjoying is the alone time I have at home.

Seriously, I’m wondering how I’m going to schedule regular social activities with all the alone time I’ve gotten used to. Because the list of things I do when I have time to myself has gotten pretty long already.

For example, lately I have been:

  • Reading
  • Following the moon phases using my Moon Planner
  • Editing my book (crossing my fingers to release a full version this year!)
  • Working out (Running, yoga, Blogilates videos)
  • Crocheting characters from Harry Potter (pics at the end of the post!)
  • Reading tarot
  • Meditating
  • Doing The Chakras Activity Book & Journal
  • Figuring out what to write for this blog 😬
  • Trying out different brands of pistachio ice cream – I’m seeing pistachio food everywhere now, are you?
  • Doing my best to keep up with current movies and shows

Plus, soon we are putting a bathtub in and I already bought a couple Lush bath bombs and planning what I’m going to do while taking bath. Can’t wait!

If you’re spending more time alone recently, what have you been doing?

How Real is Reality TV?

Reality TV usually gets consumed by people looking to, ironically, tune out and veg out. It’s about watching messy drama unfold and be glad that you get to watch it happen, rather than being the one it happens to.

And the ironic thing about reality TV is that it gets deemed as fake.

Fake because it’s obvious the producers forced an incident to happen. Fake because the participants are only on there to gain followers on social media and to start their influencing career. Fake because editing causes us not to get to watch the whole story unfold.

However, I’d argue that consequences are real for the participants and the themes (yes, reality TV has themes) are taken from society itself.

A prime example is The Bachelor franchise.

In the course of a Bachelor/Bachelorette season, there is aways someone edited to be the “villain”. Within the show, the “villain” suffers the consequence of being sent home, however they also suffer the backlash from viewers on social media.

But you don’t even have to get the villain edit to be affected by the show on social media by fans of the show. You just have to be person of color. And if you’re a person of color who also gets a villain edit, well then the consequences are even worse.

Furthermore, The Bachelor explores themes we actually experience in society. Of course, the show shows us a journey to find love, so it covers themes about marriage and relationships. It explores the social constructs of what makes a “good” wife and what a heterosexual relationship should look like. There are ideas about what makes someone “ready” or “qualified” for marriage

But we can also learn about how the patriarchy and racism are harmful in society from The Bachelor. We watch how women get pitted against one another for the affections of one man. We see how people of color continue to get ignored and/or stereotyped.

The Bachelor franchise, or any reality show, doesn’t have the ability to solve all of society’s problems, but it does have a responsibility to make an effort to spread inclusive and progressive messages. Additionally, viewers tend to take the idea of reality TV being “fake” too far and treat participants like they’re not real people with real feelings.

And sure, what we see go down on these episodes of reality can be heavily produced. But these ideas are not just made up by the TV gods or syphoned from the void. TV is a reflection of society and society likes to watch TV and reenact what it sees. It’s been proven that it directly affects those who go on the show. On a broader scope, it will, and does affect the rest of us.

So how real is reality TV? It’s pretty real, in my opinion.

My Church is a Yoga Mat

One of my favorite ways to start off the new year is doing the 30 Day Yoga Challenge on the Yoga with Adrienne YouTube channel.

I really like how she has an overall theme to reflect on during the 30 days. This year, the theme was BREATH. And then each day has a word to focus on and connect back to the larger theme.

I also love how, if you sign up for the emails, she sends a love letter each day about the word of the practice and gives us something to think about.

At the end of this 30 day journey (but really, just the beginning of a life long one), I’m reflecting on how far I’ve come with my yoga practice.

At first, yoga was just a workout for me. A way to get stronger and work on my flexibility and posture. I wanted to benefit from the many physical health benefits of yoga.

As I was practicing my tree pose and getting from down dog to cobra to down dog again, I realized yoga was bringing me something else.

A spiritual awakening.

I remember the moment. I was doing TRUE, the 30 day yoga challenge from 2018. Adrienne was guiding us from a low lunge to a high lunge, straightening our spine to get into the full pose.

She was talking about how moving from the center is so important, because that’s our foundation and it’s a reminder that we having everything inside us to do what we need or want to do.

Feeling this connection to my center in order to physically lift me up into this high lunge, is the same thing as connecting to my inner self, my spirit, knowing that I have everything inside me to pull myself up from wherever I am.

Having that realization, that clarity, enter me so fully, almost brought me to tears.

Since then, I’ve been learning more about how to connect to my spirit, what it means to me and everything around me. Diving into yoga philosophy has helped me see its message told in other ways, all around me.

Now, even though yoga is still part of my workout routine, it has evolved into a time for me to connect spiritually as well. It’s part of my day where I tend to my body, mind and spirit. Practicing this connection while on the mat has helped me bring it to other areas of my life.

I never thought I’d say, my workout has become more of a spiritual connection for me than going to church ever did.

What’s one of your favorite ways to start the new year? Have you gone through a spiritual awakening in an unconventional way? What’s the meaning of life?

(To that I answer: LOVE)

Bridgerton’s Secrets

As a fan of Shonda Rimes and all that she embodies, I had to catch Bridgerton, the new series on Netflix, produced by Shondaland.

Ah, the romance, the gowns, the scenery, the diversity, and JULIE ANDREW’S voice as Lady Whistledown narrating the story’s latest revelations and scandals! What more could you ask for?

One topic of the show that has caught my attention is how sex, in relation to women, is handled during that time period.

Obviously, in the time period of the show, a woman’s worth was based on many external factors, meaning: family status, beauty, and her virtue…

AKA, her virginity.

Only a respectable woman will wait for her deflowering to be on her wedding night.

Any sooner, or in the wrong way, and she has been defiled, bringing shame upon her family.

An act that is so natural, is defined as acceptable under one light, and dirty under another.

Daphne Bridgerton, the main character, starts the show with her being introduced into society in order to get married. Her dream is to start her own family one day.

But she knows nothing about sex, or even how babies are made!

Right before her wedding to the Duke, her mother attempts to have a conversation with her about “martial relations” but the words “vagina” and “penis” never get said out loud.

Any hint of what sex is, Daphne gets from the Duke.

And she had to ask her maid exactly how she can become pregnant.

In another part of the show, Daphne’s younger sister, Eloise, conspires with her best friend, Penelope, trying to figure out how babies are made, so that they don’t end up in a situation like Marina Thompson (who is pregnant, but isn’t married or engaged or being courted).

This show hints at how sex is kept hidden from women until the very last second. Or even when it’s too late.

I’m not shocked to find out that sex was a taboo topic in those days.

What this show has made me reflect on is how sex is STILL a taboo today. We haven’t been able to move on from double standards, feeling embarrassed or shameful when sex is brought up. Not to mention, all the false facts out there that many people believe.

Learning to deconstruct thoughts and feelings about sex and then build them back up again is no small feat. Especially when it’s a whole society that needs to do it.

But if we start individually, and then with loved ones, it can eventually happen.

What has been your favorite part about Bridgerton?